A Canvas of Ambitions

 Prelims 2023 Result A result is just some numbers and digits flashing on the screen.  But, behind it, there would be countless hours of studying. Not, just studying, but a lot of non-academic factors are also taken into consideration.  I did not clear Prelims 2023. How do I feel? 1. Dejected. It is a knife down your throat.  2. Jealousy. Especially from persons online.  3. Inadequacy. When you see numbers like 14000 people clearing Prelims plastered on social media.  4. Lost. You end up wondering, how you ended up here.  If you think carefully, besides freak incidents, clearing exams is not a freak incident. Of course, there could be isolated incidents, in which somebody scrapes through and then after scraping through, does not become complacent, but proceeds to work his ass off.  I am trying to say here is such big successes are not accidental.  I should not be wondering how I ended up here.  I came home after college ended, with a pla...

Not enough. These two words are enough to send a chilling shiver down your spine. Not good enough grades, not pretty enough, not sociable enough, not focussed enough.  I particularly envy people, who seem content with themselves. This enlightened bunch is not delusional enough to think that their farts smell like roses or the world will cater to their whims and fancies. No, there is no bullshitting around them. This brand of the species is extraordinarily comfortable in their strengths and weaknesses. They'll play on their strengths and carefully nurture any chinks in their armour.  They seek no approval or validation, in pale contrast, you'll find them silently working, with clear goalposts ahead.  In the heart of my heart, wait who am I kidding, even the uppermost chambers of my heart (I do not have to scrape the bottom for this), I know that I cannot and will not be this person.  It takes extraordinary efforts to rise above social politeness and shut out any super...

 Blogs were   HUGE  when I was still in school.  To get past looming boredom during many insufferable "study hours", I would often take refuge in poring over the day's newspaper in exhausting detail.  While scanning The Hindu's "Friday Review" and "Literary Review", (which is discontinued now), my bored self, noted the many blogs which would be reviewed there. I wondered at the amazement which the internet was.  Unknown writers in dusty towns were making their presence felt through these blogs and they were writing about anything which caught their fancy and which frankly, obsessed and tormented them.  Things could be as bizarre as the very famous "The Secret Diary of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala", (which is now a wildly, successful book), or from expectant mothers, culinary divas, fashion, academics.  With the clock ticking sleepily and in a world in which time stood still, I solemnly decided with much internal fanfare, to have my own blog.  My o...